Many counsellors liken the process of emotionally separating from a long-term relationship to the grieving process that happens when a loved one dies. In general, this process can be expected to take one to two years to complete. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, in her book ''[http://www.worldcat.org/title/on-death-and-dying/oclc/4238 On Death and Dying]'', describes a five-stage model of grief, and how grief affects our ability to make decisions in each stage.

*'''Anger:''' "Why is this happening to me?" A frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion. Making decisions at this point is difficult because all one's energy gets put into the emotion rather than problem-solving, and the other partner is usually vilified.

*'''Dialogue and bargaining:''' "I promise I'll be a better person if..." Seeking in vain for a way out; seeking solutions that might offer a solution. People generally become more willing to explore alternatives.