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{{JP Boyd on Family Law TOC}} | {{JP Boyd on Family Law TOC}} | ||
Family law problems can be resolved in a bunch of different ways. Court is not the only option. Depending on your particular circumstances, you may never need to darken the doorway of a courtroom! Almost very issue a couple faces when their relationship breaks down can be handled without litigation, as long as both people are able to discuss things and each is flexible enough to find compromise. The only reason why a couple must go to court is to get a divorce. | |||
This chapter provides a brief description of the different alternatives to court, including parenting coordination, and the different ways that settlements and agreements can be recorded. It will also review what can happen when a party has a change of heart after an agreement has been reached. | This chapter discusses how family law problems can be resolved without going to court. This page provides a brief description of the different alternatives to court, including parenting coordination, and the different ways that settlements and agreements can be recorded. It will also review what can happen when a party has a change of heart after an agreement has been reached. | ||
==Introduction== | ==Introduction== | ||
The fundamental goal shared by all alternatives to | The fundamental goal shared by all alternatives to litigation is to arrive at a settlement of the issues in dispute, particularly those which could have been fought about in court. As you might expect, coming to this sort of settlement requires a certain amount of flexibility and maturity. Most importantly, the people involved must understand that neither of them is going to get everything they want. Whatever a person's wish list might be going into negotiations, the end result always represents a compromise and an accommodation of the other person's goals, wishes and expectations. | ||
Although it is not always possible to avoid court, such as when one or both people are so pig-headed that they | Although it is not always possible to avoid court, such as when one or both people are so pig-headed that they can't or won't compromise their position or where a person must take urgent court action to stop something bad from happening, out-of-court alternatives always offer a cheaper, friendlier resolution to the legal problems that come up when a relationship ends and are far less stressful and disruptive to the people involved and their children. | ||
It is | It is particularly important to negotiate a settlement when a couple have children. Where there are no children, a couple can walk away from their relationship and have nothing more to do with one another for the rest of their lives. However, where there are children, a couple can expect to be involved with each other, whether they like it or not, for the next five, twenty or forty years. Both parents will want to be at the child's high school graduation, both will want to attend parent-teacher meetings, and both will want to go to school concerts and sports days, and their child will want both parents to be there too. No matter how tense or awkward the relationship between the parents is, they will both be involved in each other's lives until they die or their child predeceases them. As a result, maintaining a functioning relationship is an absolute necessity, and negotiation gives parents the best chance of doing just that. | ||
For more information about parenting issues after a relationship has ended and how to put the children first in your dispute with the other parent, see the | For more information about parenting issues after a relationship has ended and how to put the children first in your dispute with the other parent, see the page <span style="color: red;">Children > Parenting After Separation</span>. For more information about the emotional issues that come with the end of a long-term relationship and how to keep those issues from hopelessly complicating your dispute, see the chapter <span style="color: red;">Marriage & Divorce > Separating Emotionally</span>. | ||
===Negotiation=== | ===Negotiation=== | ||
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Pat: "You know how important my hockey card collection is to me. Let me keep my hockey cards, I'll give you 60% of the house, and I'll sell the Porsche and give you 70% of what I get for it. Plus, I'll let you keep your Hyundai." | Pat: "You know how important my hockey card collection is to me. Let me keep my hockey cards, I'll give you 60% of the house, and I'll sell the Porsche and give you 70% of what I get for it. Plus, I'll let you keep your Hyundai." | ||
In negotiation, each person gives a little and takes a little, all in the hope that at the end of the day they'll be able to come to an agreement on all of the issues that have cropped up because of the end of their relationship. If a settlement is reached, the parties almost always put the agreement in some written form. | In negotiation, each person gives a little and takes a little, all in the hope that at the end of the day they'll be able to come to an agreement on all of the issues that have cropped up because of the end of their relationship. If a settlement is reached, the parties almost always put the agreement in some written form. | ||
===Collaborative Processes=== | |||
Collaborative law is a mediation process in which the parties and their lawyers sign an agreement not to go to court and work together as a team to find settlement. The team uses divorce coaches to address the emotional and psychological issues arising from parties' separation, and the team may recruit specialists to help with particular subjects, such as children's issues or complicated financial problems, as the need arises. | |||
There are collaborative practice groups all over British Columbia. More information about collaborative law can be found at the websites of Collaborative Divorce Vancouver, Metro Vancouver's Collaborative Association, Victoria's Collaborative Family Law Group, and the Okanagan Collaborative Family Law Group, among others. | |||
===Mediation=== | ===Mediation=== | ||
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More information about parenting coordination is available at the website of the BC Parenting Coordinators Roster Society. | More information about parenting coordination is available at the website of the BC Parenting Coordinators Roster Society. | ||
==Formalizing a Settlement== | ==Formalizing a Settlement== |