Anger can be used to divert blame from yourself and avoid feelings of guilt. People experiencing anger as a shield are often avoiding accepting responsibility for, perhaps, an affair or being the one who announced the end of the relationship. It can also stop you from experiencing the other primary emotions in the grieving process, sadness and love.

Intense anger can also signal that you are not yet done with the relationship. Conflict can be a way of drawing a former partner closer by getting their attention and maintaining the emotional relationship. Underneath this kind of anger remains love and a continuing attachment to a former partner, as illogical as this sounds.