90
edits
Changes
→Pick the right moment
When you've got the right moment, starting the process of negotiation can be as simple as calling your ex up and inviting them out for a cup of coffee at the local Tim Hortons:
<blockquote>"Hey look, I think it's time that we sat down and started to talk about things. I know you're still this has been a bit upset about everythingreally hard time, but and we really need also have some decisions to make a few decisions."</blockquote>
Say whatever you want really, there's no perfect rule that <span class="noglossary">will</span> apply to every couple. Only you know how best to approach your ex. It might help to reassure your ex that you mean no harm:
<blockquote>"I'm not out to screw you over. I don't want your car or your grandmother's china collection, but we really need to talk about how we can fairly split our things up."</blockquote>
<blockquote>"I want to help you and the kids get by, I know that your job doesn't pay enough. We have to discuss how I can pay for my place and my bills and how much you need. I've had a look at the Child Support Guidelines, and they say I should pay support at $325 per month. I'll give you $350."</blockquote>
<blockquote>"This really isn't about you and it's not about me. It's about what <span class="noglossary">will</span> work best for the kids. We may not be partners anymore, but we're always going to be parents. I know that we both want what is best for the kids. With that goal in mind, I have faith that we can make it work."</blockquote>
Sometimes nothing seems to work. In cases like that, often all that helps is the passage of time. Some people need time to grieve and get process their emotions under control as they move through this transition before they can really are ready to sit down and talk.
==Starting the dialogue==