*People can jump to ridiculous conclusions by expecting the worst from their former partner, leading to conflict after conflict, and court application after court application. Redness on the buttocks of a toddler becomes evidence of molestation, rather than simple diaper rash.

*Rage can trigger "affidavit wars," in which each person makes overly-inflated claims about the purported evils of the other. Minor events are exaggerated beyond all proportion. The costly "war" is triggered because the other party is put to the burden of addressing each inflated claim. Very rarely is a party able to refrain from making reciprocal claims about the misconduct of the other: "You said I drink all the time? Actually, I only drink socially, but you smoked pot when you were pregnant." What is a judge to make of claims like these?

Rage, as Dr. Emery and others observe, is a symptom of unresolved grief. Whatever the <span class="noglossary">cause</span>, failing to move beyond anger can be poisonous to you, to your former partner, to your children, and to your relationship with your children. Some counselling, whether by yourself or with your former partner, can be critical in moving forward and out of anger.