While Guardianship is a very old concept that goes back to the other sections in this chapter discuss law of ancient Rome. Although guardianship can be hard to define, it's probably easiest to think of guardianship as the legal issues full bundle of rights and duties involved in determining how children <span class="noglossary">will</span> be cared caring for after and raising a couple separatechild. Historically, they do not talk guardianship had two aspects: guardianship of the ''person'' and guardianship of the ''estate.'' Guardianship is still about parental authority. Parents can be, and usually are, the non-legal issuesguardians of a child. This section will discuss issues such as: what it means to parent after separationOther people can be guardians too, how separation affects childrenincluding grandparents and stepparents, and how parents can talk to their children about their separationthe people who are made guardians by a guardian's will.

No matter how pressing A parent who has never lived with a child can only be a guardian by agreement with the first two issues are, you must remember that other parent; by ''regularly caring for'' the post-separation parenting of your children must take priority over everything else. If you think the end of your relationship is difficult for youchild; or, imagine how confusing and unsettling it must be for your children. Their needs and best interests must come ahead of your own, and those of your partner. This is certainly the view that the by court <span class="noglossary">will</span> takeorder.

You <span class=Courts have interpreted "noglossaryregularly cares for">may</span> have found that during your relationship, issues involving the care of your children just sort of worked themselves out, perhaps smoothly, perhaps not. In general, you will have developed a routine, a routine that you and your partner were comfortable with and one that your children have become accustomed toas meaning more than occasional visits.

After separationThere is a case from the BC Court of Appeal, that routine just may not be possible anymore[http://canlii.ca/t/gj15z ''A.A.A.M. v. BC''], especially if you and your partner are living in separate homes. Suddenly2015 BCCA 220, which found that when the children can no longer rely on both Ministry of you being around the houseChildren and Family Development controlled how often a parent could see their child, or on the schedules you used it was unfair to keep. They can no longer count on all the little things like the bedtime story from dad, say that parent had not regularly cared for the special breakfast, playing catch after school with mum, and so forthchild. On top The Court of all Appeal in this case found that change and uncertainty, a parent’s intention to regularly care for a child who was in the care of the children will be fully aware Ministry was enough to make that something isn't right between their parents, even if they don't quite grasp exactly what's going onparent a guardian.

===LanguageExamples of Parenting Arrangements===

Words like "custody" and "access" are still used in the federal ''[[Divorce Act]]''. As noted above, these can be loaded terms with a lot of extra meanings that aren't particularly helpful to the children, ====Parallel parenting or to each parent's view of their role with the children. This is one reason why the newer provincial ''[[Family Law Act]]'' talks about the care of children in terms of guardians who exercise ''parental responsibilities'' and have ''silo parenting time'' with their children, and people who are not guardians who have ''contact'' with a child. This is a huge improvement, and the language of the ''[[Family Law Act]]'' should be used whenever possible.====

===''Parallel parenting'' is a way of distributing parental responsibilities between guardians that is best suited for situations where each of the guardians may be a good parent and the children would do well with either of them, but the parents are unable to cooperate on parenting decisions. A few notes from JP Boyd===helpful 2004 decision of the Provincial Court, ''[http://canlii.ca/t/1jptk J.R. v. S.H.C.]'', 2004 BCPC 0421, discusses the concept of parallel parenting at length:

I am not a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a counsellor*A guardian assumes complete responsibility for the children when they are with them. As a result, this section should be read with a grain *A guardian has no say over the actions of salt, as it the other guardian when the children are in that guardian's care.*There is based on my observations no expectation of my clients' experiences and a healthy dose of common senseflexibility between the guardians. For *A guardian does not plan activities for the same reason, you children when they are cautioned that this section should not be used as an authority on parentingwith the other guardian. The goal of this section *Contact between the guardians is simply minimized and children are not asked to pass messages to provide some information the other guardian. When the guardians must communicate, they do so by writing in a book that may be helpful for parents the children take with them from one home to consider as they approach the issue of parenting after separationother.

There are a ton An example of parallel parenting being ordered is ''[http://www.clicklaw.bccanlii.ca/questiont/commonquestion/1010 Parenting After Separation (PAS) programsg8rp5 Sodhi v. Sodhi] conducted by trained psychologists and counsellors available throughout British Columbia. If you are separating or have separated, I highly recommend that you attend one of these programs. No matter how good (or bad!) you think your relationship is with your ex-partner'', these programs are usually very helpful. Also, in some cases, you, your former partner, or both of you may be ordered by the court to attend a Parenting After Separation program2014 BCSC 1622.

Some psychologists and many separating parents believe that the best post-separation Parallel parenting arrangement is one of equal not a term you will find in the ''Family Law Act'' or near-equal (i.e. shared) timein the ''Divorce Act''.

<blockquote><tt>In When parents birdnest, the making of parenting arrangements, no particular arrangement is presumed to be children remain in the best interests of same place and it's the child and without limiting thatparents who do the moving, normally while maintaining separate homes outside the following must not be presumed:</tt></blockquote>family home.

<blockquote><blockquote><tt>(a) The theory underlying this concept is that parental responsibilities should be allocated equally among guardians;</tt></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><tt>(b) that parenting time should be shared equally among guardians;</tt></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><tt>(c) it is disruptive for children to switch homes every week and that decisions among guardians should it can be made separately or together.</tt></blockquote></blockquote> Children need their parents too costly to continue to contribute to their care make sure there's a full set of clothing, toys, books, and upbringing after separationwhatnot in both houses. FurtherBirdnesting lets the kids stay in a single home, usually the family home that they've grown up in. Of course, the cost saved by avoiding duplication of the children have 's clothes and books is offset by the right need to expect their maintain two or possibly three homes: the family home, and a home for each of the parents and caregivers to work together, whenever possible, to ensure that their needs are met.

While many families work well with Birdnesting is a week on/week off schedule or other shared parenting arrangementsterm that has been created by lawyers and judges, like the term ''primary residence.'' Birdnesting is not a term you will find in the ''Family Law Act'' rejects the notion that parents should have the right to, or the expectation of, an equal, or near-equal, amount of time with their children before or after separation, as set out in section 40(4) of the ''Family Law Divorce Act.''.

The provincial ''[[Family Law Act]]'Things to think ' talks about:the care of children in terms of ''guardians'' and the rights and duties they have for the children in their care. Most of the time a child's parents will be the child's guardians, but other people can be guardians too, including people who have a court order appointing them as guardians and people who are made guardians by a guardian's will.

*Children can best deal with their feelings surrounding Guardians raise the separation experience children in a climate of cooperation.*Working together as parents means cooperating with the other parent about raising the children. If you cantheir care by exercising ''parental responsibilities''t do this in person, try communicating by phone or by using notes that are exchanged with the child. *It is a myth that parents who did not get along as a couple cannot work together as parents. They can. It takes time and effort but parents can redefine the relationship from being a couple, to a more business-like relationship best interests of being partners in the parenting of their children.*Go directly Parental responsibilities include deciding where a child goes to the other parent for informationschool, an <span class="noglossary">answer</span>how a sick child is treated, or a solution to whether a problem. Do not allow the child to be is raised in the middle, to <span class="noglossary">act</span> as a messengerreligion, or <span class="noglossary">act</span> as a spy. If you cannot deal directly with and what sports the other parent, use another adultchild plays after school.*Give the benefit All of the doubt to the other parent’s motives.*Do not let yourself get caught in any angry feelings the a child may 's guardians can exercise all parental responsibilities, or parental responsibilities can be divided between guardians, so that only one or more guardians have towards the other parent. Encourage the children right to speak make decisions about their difficulties with the other parent to the other parent; do not get caught in the middlea particular issue. Do The concept ''joint guardianship'' is not let incorporated into the children become caught ''Family Law Act''; however, many people, including judges, still use that language in the middleerror.

The time a guardian has with a child is called '''Children may be harmed if they:'parenting time''. During parenting time, a guardian is responsible for the care of the child and has <span class="noglossary">decision-</span>making authority about day-to-day issues.

*People who are restricted or prevented from spending sufficient not guardians, including parents who are not guardians, do not have parental responsibilities. Their time with both parents,*are told that one parent a child is called ''contact''. A person who is good and not a guardian does not have <span class="noglossary">decision-</span>making authority when the other child is bad,*are encouraged to take sides, or*don't feel free to love both parents and also stepparentsin their care.

*don’t prepare children for changes that will occur, *burden children with adult problems, such as their legal issues or financial woes,*compete with or criticize the other parent in front Section 39 of the children, *badmouth or blame the other parent in ''[[Family Law Act]]'' sets out the children’s presence or earshot, or*expect children basic rules about who is presumed to comfort them.be a guardian:

In short<blockquote><tt>(1) While a child's parents are living together and after the child's parents separate, you each parent of the child is the child's guardian.</tt></blockquote><blockquote><tt>(2) Despite subsection (1), an agreement or order made after separation or when the parents are about to separate may provide that a parent is not the child's guardian.</tt></blockquote><blockquote><tt>(3) A parent, who has never resided with his or her child is not the child's guardian unless one of the following applies:</tt></blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><tt>(a) section 30 applies and your children have the right to expect you to do person is a parent under that section;</tt></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><tt>(b) the job parent and all of parentingthe child's guardians make an agreement providing that the parent is also a guardian;</tt></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><tt>(c) the parent regularly cares for the child.===Parenting schedules===</tt></blockquote></blockquote>

While a common public assumption might be that equal or near-equal shared time is generally the best parenting arrangement possiblePutting this another way, this is not the law in British Columbia. Section 40under section 39(41) , parents who lived together for some period of time after their child was born (birth is when you become a parent) are presumed to be the ''Family Law Act'' reads:guardians of their child during their relationship and after they separate.

<blockquote><tt>(4) In Parents who didn't live together, on the making other hand, aren't guardians unless: *they are parents because of parenting arrangementsan assisted reproduction agreement, no particular arrangement is presumed to be in *the best interests parent and all of the child and without limiting 's guardians made an agreement thatthe parent would be a guardian, or*the parent ''regularly cares'' for the following must not be presumed:</tt></blockquote>child.

People who aren't guardians by the operation of section 39 of the ''Family Law Act'', including parents who aren't guardians, don't have the right to say how a child is raised or be involved in <blockquotespan class="noglossary">decision<blockquote><tt/span>-making about the child. If a guardian plans on moving with the child, people who aren't guardians don't have the right to object. However, a person with an order for contact time must be notified of any proposed relocation (per section 66 of the ''Family Law Act'') and can apply for orders for the purpose of maintaining the relationship if the relocation is permitted (per section 67(2)(b) that parenting time should be shared equally among guardians;</tt></blockquote></blockquote>of the ''Family Law Act'').

<blockquote><blockquote><tt>(c) Being a guardian means that you, along with any other guardians, have the obligation to make decisions among guardians should on behalf of a child and the right to determine how the child is raised. Guardians are presumed to be made separately entitled to manage children's property worth less than $10,000. A guardian can object if another guardian wants to move, with the child or togetherwithout, and a guardian can make another person a guardian of the child in their will.</tt></blockquote></blockquote>

Shared parenting is not necessarily equal parentingMost of the time, and what children need is for their parents or guardians to cooperate as much as possible, focusing on what the children need. Some things a parent will want to be considered when you are developing a parenting schedule are: the guardian of their child's age, relationships, and each parent's parenting skills and abilities.

Not all People who are guardians by the operation of section 39 of the ''[[Family Law Act]]'', for example, if they are the child's parents who have lived together after the time to devote child is born, or a parent who has regularly cared for a child after the child's birth, don't need to obtain a shared parenting arrangementcourt order or declaration stating that they are guardians. At law, and a parent guardian should not all parents need to ask the court for what they already have the skills and resources . This is really important because if you don't need to start a court proceeding to offer the childrenbecome a guardian, you shouldn't.

The Langley Family Justice Center published Parents (generally fathers) who were not living with the other parent (generally the birth mother) at the time the child was born, but who believe that they are a guardian because they regularly care for their child will want some kind of confirmation that they are their child's guardian. This is when an excellent pamphlet called agreement between the parents or a declaration by the court is useful. Obviously, regular care is a matter of <span class="Suggested Visitationnoglossary">opinion</Time-Sharing Skills" which they gave span>, and if there is a disagreement, some kind of decision or declaration will need to their clientsbe made saying whether or not the parent who claims guardianship is in fact a guardian. See, for example, drawn from Gary Neuman's bookthe decision, ''[http://wwwcanlii.worldcat.orgca/titlet/helping-your-kids-cope-hqpn1 Doyle v. Handley]'', 2018 BCSC 293. Even though the father did not cohabit with-divorce-the-sandcastles-way/oclc/42193621 Helping your Kids Cope with Divorce mother at the time of the Sandcastles Way]child''. The following is adapted from this pamphlets birth, and is intended the court found him to be a guardian since he regularly cared for parents who do not intend to establish an equal time-sharing arrangementthe child after the child was born.

::{| width="65%" class="wikitable"=Becoming a guardian===

!style="widthIf you are not a guardian of a child and you want to become a guardian, your choices depend on your relationship to the child and the views of the child's other guardians: 11%" align="center"|Age

!style="width: 18%" align="center"|Good<br>Parenting Skills==Agreements====

|align="center"|'''Birth to 8 months'''||valign="top"|2 or 3 weekly visits for 2 to 3 hours each||valign="top"|supervised visits in the primary Guardians cannot make an agreement appointing anyone other than a parent's home||valign="top"|2 weekly visits for 6 to 8 hours each, plus one shorter visitas a guardian.

|align="center"|Parents and other people can apply to be made a guardian under section 51 of the ''[[Family Law Act]]''. This section requires a person applying for guardianship, an '9 to 12 months'applicant''||valign="top"|2 or 3 weekly visits for 4 to 8 hours each, plus one longer weekend visit||valign="top"|2 to 4 weekly visits for 3 hours each||valign="top"|2 or 3 weekly visits for 6 to 8 hours each, plus one weekly 24-hour overnight visitprovide certain information about why the order would be in the best interests of the child.

|align="center"|* the applicant's relationship with the child,* the child's current living arrangements,*the applicant's plan for the parenting of the child,*any incidents of family violence that might affect the child, and*the applicant's involvement with other court proceedings involving children under the ''Family Law Act'', the old '13 months to 3 years'Family Relations Act''||valign="top"|1 or 2 weekly visits for 6 to 8 hours each, plus one weekly 24-hour overnight visit||valign="top"|1 or 2 weekly visits for 4 to 6 hours eachthe ''[http://canlii.ca/t/51znt Child, Family and possibly one weekly short overnight visit||valign="top"|2 weekly 24-hour overnight visits that are not consecutive, plus one weekly visit for 6 to 8 hoursCommunity Service Act]'', and a less than equal sharing of holidaysthe ''[[Divorce Act]]''.

|align="center"|'''4 to 5<br>years'''||valign="top"|1 or 2 weekly visits for 6 to 8 hours eachFor Supreme Court, plus one weekly 24Rule 15-hour overnight visit||valign="top"|2.1 or 2 weekly visits for 4 to 6 hours eachof the [http://canlii.ca/t/8mcr Supreme Court Family Rules] says much the same thing, and possibly one weekly short overnight visitalso requires a special affidavit with the same three records checks added as exhibits. [[Form F101 Affidavit - Section 51 ||valign="top"|2 weekly 24-hour overnight visits that are Form F101]] must be sworn not consecutivemore than 28 days before a hearing where people will present arguments, plus one weekly visit for 6 to 8 hours, and or not more than seven days before filing if there will not be a greater sharing hearing. The records checks must be dated no more than 60 days before the date of holidaysthe hearing.

|To obtain a criminal record check the applicant must attend at their local police station. The forms required to obtain the ''child protection records check'' from the Ministry for Children and Family Development and the ''protection order registry check'' can be found online at https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/justice/courthouse-services/documents-forms-records/court-forms/prov-family-forms. The forms required are:#'''Consent for Child Protection Record Check''': This form must be ''sworn'' or ''affirmed'' in front of a ''[https://www.courthouselibrary.ca/how-we-can-help/our-legal-knowledge-base/commissioner-taking-affidavits commissioner for taking affidavits]'' (e.g. a lawyer, notary, Supreme Court registrar). Submit the completed form to the court registry where the application is being made.#'''Request for Protection Order Registry Search''': This form must also be submitted to the court registry where the application is being made.

|align="center"|'''6 You can find links to 8<br>years'''||valign="top"|every other weekend, from Friday after school until Sunday evening, plus one weeknight after school until one hour before bedtime, plus 3 consecutive weeks during the summer holiday, and half examples of all other holidays||valign="top"|one weekly 24-hour overnight visitforms, plus one weeknight after school until one hour before bedtimeincluding those listed above as well as Form 34 and Form F101, plus 3 two-day visits during the summerin [[Sample Provincial Court Forms (Family Law)|Provincial Court Forms & Examples]], [[Sample Supreme Court Forms (Family)|valign="top"|every other weekend, from Friday after school until Sunday evening, plus one weeknight after school until one hour before bedtime, plus 3 consecutive weeks during the summer holidaySupreme Court Forms & Examples]], and half of all other holidays[[Other Forms and Documents (Family Law)]].

|align="center"|Parents and other people can also be made a guardian if they have been appointed by a guardian as a ''standby guardian''9 to 12<br>yearsunder section 55 of the ''[[Family Law Act]]'' or as a ''testamentary guardian''||valign="top"|every other weekend, from Friday after school until Sunday evening, plus one weeknight after school until one hour before bedtime, plus 3 consecutive weeks during under section 53 of the summer holiday, act. Guardians who have been appointed in this way don't need to make an application under section 51 and half of all other holidays||valign="top"|every other weekend, Saturday morning until Sunday evening, plus one weeknight after school until one hour before bedtime, plus 3 three-day visits during don't need to worry about filing the summer||valign="top"|every other weekend, from Thursday after school until Monday morning before school, plus one weeknight after school until one hour before bedtime, plus half of all holidaysspecial affidavit or getting records checks done.

|align="center"|'''13 to 18<br>years'''||valign="top"|every other weekend, from Friday after school until Sunday evening, plus one weeknight after school until one hour before bedtime, plus 3 consecutive weeks during the summer holiday, Parental responsibilities and half of all other holidays||valignparenting time="top"|every other weekend, Saturday morning until Sunday evening, plus one weeknight after school until one hour before bedtime, plus summer visits set in consultation with the child||valign="top"|every other weekend, from Thursday after school until Monday morning before school, plus half of all holidays

====Shared Schedule==== In <blockquote><tt>(1) Only a shared guardian may have parental responsibilities and parenting schedule, the time that a very, very young child, less than 18 months of age, requires to integrate fully with the other parent can be compressed. Some children may be able respect to start spending a shared amount of time with each parent by the time they enter kindergarten, although the weeks should be divided so that the change in home is more frequentchild.</tt></blockquote> By grade two <blockquote><tt>(2) Unless an agreement or threeorder allocates parental responsibilities differently, many children each child's guardian may be able exercise all parental responsibilities with respect to do a whole week with one parent, followed by a whole week with the other parent. Most parents exchange the child on Fridays after school to minimize disruption to in consultation with the child's schoolworkother guardians, although exchanging on Tuesday prevents any arguments about who was responsible for ensuring that weekend homework got done. By the time the child is unless consultation would be unreasonable or inappropriate in their early teens, the week-oncircumstances.</week-off arrangement tt></blockquote><blockquote><tt>(3) Parental responsibilities may be extended to two weeks with each parent. This will change as the teenager gets older, and their preferences should allocated under an agreement or order such that they may be taken into exercised by<span class="noglossary"/tt>account</spanblockquote>. Some parents even wind up working on <blockquote><blockquote><tt>(a month-on) one or more guardians only, or</tt></blockquote></month-off arrangement with older teens; again, though, this will depend on the child and the parents.blockquote> There are some parents who achieve shared parenting by the unequal sharing of holidays. The ''Family Law Act'' also requires that parents, guardians, and the court consider the child’s views, “unless it would be inappropriate to consider them” (section 37(2)<blockquote><blockquote><tt>(b)). Many parents and each guardian acting separately or all guardians know what their children want and need; however, children have a legal right to have a voiceacting together.  The [http:</tt></hearthechild.cablockquote></ Hear blockquote><blockquote><tt>(4) In the Child Society] offers useful information about the rights making of children and a roster of people who prepare non-evaluative reports of children’s views. ===Parenting plans=== A ''parenting plan'' is a written agreement that describes how issues involving the care of children will be handled, typically with a long-term view that addresses how visitation and other arrangements should evolve as the children grow up and mature. Parenting plans are most common when the children are very young when their parents separate, or when parents need extra clarity. The main reasons why parents might want no particular arrangement is presumed to make a parenting plan are to address future issues ahead of time and to minimize be in the likelihood best interests of future conflict. A parenting plan takes the basic developmental points in the children's life into consideration: *The parenting schedule appropriate for a breastfeeding one-year-old won't be appropriate when the child is weaned.*The parenting schedule and without limiting that works for a three-year-old won't work when the child turns five, enters the school system, and is suddenly tied to a schedule neither parent controls.*The schedule of a seven-year-old following must accommodate sports and other extracurricular activities as well as homework and other take-home assignments.*Nine-year-olds will not be starting to go to day camps or overnight camps during the summer.*The schedule of a twelve-year-old must take into presumed:<span class="noglossary"/tt>account</spanblockquote> their social schedule and activities with friends. In other words, <blockquote><blockquote><tt>(a parenting schedule can't be static; it has to be able to evolve with time. This is precisely what a parenting plan is intended to address. Parenting plans also typically address guardianship issues and cover how the parents will make decisions about the children's care, medical needs, and schooling. Since parenting plans aren't mentioned in the ''[[Divorce Act]]'' or the ''[[Family Law Act]]'', there are no rules about what should and shouldn't be in a parenting plan. It's up to the parents to be as inclusive and creative as they want. Parenting plans can be included in separation agreements, but not always, or in court orders. Usually, court orders contain a general statement about guardianship and parenting time. However, at times, especially when parents do not agree, the court can and will make very specific orders about the parenting arrangements, such as who is responsible for taking the children to the dentist and the sharing of birthdays, just to name a few. Detailed orders are usually crafted to a particular family in an attempt by the court to cover as much of a child's day-to-day life as possible in the hopes of minimizing conflict between the parents. Parenting plans can also stand on their own as a separate document. What is crucial in developing a parenting plan is to have a plan ) that accommodates and meets the children's needs and is not simply in place for the ease or convenience of parents. The same parenting plan may not work for all children in a family, and the goal of all parents parental responsibilities should be to support the healthy development of children as individuals and not simply as a sibling group. ===Sample parenting plans=== A lot of users of this resource have asked about sample parenting plans. I can't post an example of a parenting plan or separation agreement of my own, as I always draft those from scratch to reflect the unique needs and circumstances of each client. I can, however, post the link to the federal Department of Justice's [https:allocated equally among guardians;</tt></canada.justice.gc.cablockquote></eng/fl-df/parent/plan.html Parenting Plan Tool], and the following parenting plans blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><tt>(b) that are drawn from the Idaho Benchbook, a creation of family law lawyers from the Idaho state bar and judiciary. Other parenting plans and parenting agreements can doubtless time should be found online.  *[http:shared equally among guardians;</tt></fourthjudicialcourt.idaho.govblockquote></pdf/FCS_sample1.doc Sample #1]: developed for a young child with a primary parent, frequent contact with the other parent but no overnight visitation, and this plan also addresses safety and transportation issues.blockquote>*[http://fourthjudicialcourt.idaho.gov/pdf/FCS_sample2.doc Sample #2]: developed with a primary parent, every other weekend visitation, and this plan also addresses substance abuse issues. *[http://fourthjudicialcourt.idaho.gov/pdf/FCS_sample3.doc Sample #3]: developed as a 50/50 shared parenting plan and addresses extra-circular activities and summer vacations. Note three things about the Idaho plans: *Much of the legal language in the Benchbook plan is suited to American law and won't be suitable for British Columbia parenting plans; you'll have to adapt the terminology accordingly.*The plans refer to American subjects <blockquote><blockquote><tt>(like holidays and social security numbersc) that you'll have to change decisions among guardians should be made separately or delete.*The plans can be adapted to include visitation schedules that will evolve as the children grow uptogether. </tt></blockquote></blockquote>

You might also want to have This section says a look at the [http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/ Parenting Time Guidelines] found in the Indiana Rules of Court, which are extremely detailed and very child-focusedfew important things.

For First, guardians are presumed to exercise all parental responsibilities until an example from British Columbiaorder or agreement says otherwise, see and guardians are required to consult with each other in the [https://www2.gov.bc.ca/assets/gov/birth-adoption-death-marriage-and-divorce/divorce/family/basics/help/p-a-s/pas-handbook.pdf Parenting After Separation Worksheet #4] about creating a parenting planexercise of these responsibilities.

There is also Second, if you do have an order or agreement, the order or agreement can require guardians to share certain parental responsibilities or divide them so that a [https://clicklaw.bc.ca/resource/4653 Separation Agreement kit] particular responsibility will only be exercised by one or more guardians acting on the Legal Services Society's Family Law website, which contains some information about parenting plans. Under the section "Agreements" see "Write your their own separation agreement."

There Parental responsibilities are lots of stumbling blocks that can crop up in preparing a parenting schedule, and it can be very difficult to anticipate all the special days that you might want to address in addition to the week-to-week schedule. Most often, these special days are things like Mothers' Day or Fathers' Day, the children's birthdays, and religious holidays.listed at section 41:

Other problems can come up when <blockquote><tt>(a) making day-to-day decisions affecting the child and having day-to-day care, control and supervision of the child;</tt></blockquote><blockquote><tt>(b) making decisions respecting where the child will reside;</tt></blockquote><blockquote><tt>(c) making decisions respecting with whom the parenting schedule child will live and associate;</tt></blockquote><blockquote><tt>(d) making decisions respecting the child's education and participation in extracurricular activities, including the nature, extent and location;</tt></blockquote><blockquote><tt>(e) making decisions respecting the child's cultural, linguistic, religious and spiritual upbringing and heritage, including, if the child is ignored by an aboriginal child, the child's aboriginal identity;</tt></blockquote><blockquote><tt>(f) subject to section 17 of the ''Infants Act'', giving, refusing or withdrawing consent to medical, dental and other health-related treatments for the child;</tt></blockquote><blockquote><tt>(g) applying for a passport, license, permit, benefit, <span class="noglossary">privilege</span> or other thing for the child;</tt></blockquote><blockquote><tt>(h) giving, refusing or withdrawing consent for the child, if consent is required;</tt></blockquote><blockquote><tt>(i) receiving and responding to any notice that a parent or refused guardian is entitled or required by a law to receive;</tt></blockquote><blockquote><tt>(j) requesting and receiving from third parties health, education or other information respecting the child. Some solutions ;</tt></blockquote><blockquote><tt>(k) subject to any applicable provincial legislation,</tt></blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><tt>(i) starting, defending, compromising or settling any proceeding relating to issues like this are discussed below. More information can be found in the child, and</tt></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><tt>(ii) identifying, advancing and protecting the child's legal and financial interests;</tt></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote><tt>(l) exercising any other sections in this chapter, including responsibilities reasonably necessary to nurture the [[Estranged & Alienated Children]] sectionchild's development.</tt></blockquote>

Weekends can be especially important to schedule carefullyThe above list references the ''Infants Act'', and it may be important which is a piece of provincial legislation that they be shared between parentsdeals with, among other matters, particularly if the children consent of a “mature minor” for healthcare decision-making. Parents who are going separating and looking to school. Often the parent who has the children during the work week becomes the disciplinarian, since define parental responsibilities in a parenting plan should nevertheless be aware that parent has the burden of telling the kids to go to sleep on time, do if their homeworkchild is considered a mature minor, and so forth. The other parent, on the other hand, becomes the "fun" parent, taking the kids that child may be able to the park, to the movies, and buying them treats on the weekendmake his or her own healthcare decisions.

It may be important that weekends be shared to avoid The above list also references the parental responsibility of “requesting and receiving from third parties health, education or other information respecting the children developing a discipline parent/fun parent dynamicchild. It is rarely a good idea ” Parents who are separating and looking to come up with define parental responsibilities in a schedule that gives one parent all parenting plan should also consider the reasonable expectation of the children's weekends, unless privacy of course that is what your particular family needs and what will be in your children's best interestsa mature minor over his or her healthcare information.

Make sure that statutory holidays and school professional development days are taken into <span class="noglossary">account</span> when you work out a The ''[[Family Law Act]]'' deals with parenting schedule. Many schedules that require a parent to return the child on Sunday evening, for example, allow that the child be returned on Monday evening if the Monday is a statutory holiday or professional development day at your child’s schooltime very briefly.Section 42 says this:

When Basically, you're working out your have a few choices if it becomes important to formalize the parenting schedulearrangements for a child. You can come up with an agreement with the other guardians, by negotiation, donmediation, or a collaborative settlement process, or, if you can't forget about special days agree, you can go to court or you can elect to use family law arbitration to obtain a decision from a third party. Arbitration, like birthdaysmediation, Fathers' Dayis an elective process. However, Mothers' Dayunlike mediation, religious holidaysin arbitration if the parties cannot agree, and so forth. Some (but not all) parents do things like alternating the children's birthdays, or making special arrangements for extra time on Fathers' Day arbitrator will make a final and Mothers' Daybinding decision.

For religious holidays, like Christmas, many parents work out It sometimes takes a plan so that while for guardians to get to the point where they feel they must get something formal in even-numbered yearsplace. Sometimes, one parent will have people are just content with the children from Christmas Eve to the afternoon of Christmas Daystatus quo. In cases like this, and the other parent will have them from the afternoon on Christmas where a stable parenting arrangement has managed to the evening of Boxing Daygel over time, a schedule that reverses on odd-numbered years. Be creative about scheduling these sorts section 48 of special days. In the case of Passover, for example, some parents alternate ''Family Law Act'' says that a guardian shouldn't make unilateral changes to those arrangements without talking to the other guardians first and second nights each year.:

The main school holidays When formal arrangements are required, section 44 of the winter break (usually about ''Family Law Act'' allows two or more of a child's guardians to two-make an agreement about the allocation of parental responsibilities and-a-half weeks)parenting time, as well as how disputes about those parenting arrangements will be resolved. (Agreements like these can't be made until the spring break (a week guardians have separated or two weeksare about to separate.) and the summer holiday (slightly more than two months). These holidays If agreement is impossible, a guardian can be split up, shared between parents every other year, or treated with apply for a court order about parenting arrangements under section 45 of the same schedule as if the child was in schoolAct.

Particularly during When a child has more than one guardian, the school closures during guardians need to work together and cooperate in raising the summerchild. This can sometimes be difficult, both particularly when there is a lot of conflict in the parents should have a fair chunk of time guardians' relationship with one another. Before the ''Family Law Act'' came into effect, the rights and obligations involved in raising childrenwere usually addressed through a joint guardianship order under the ''Family Relations Act''. Summers donThe ''Family Law Act't have to be split equally — some people's work schedules just wondoesn't give them that much time off — but each parent should at least have a solid week with talk about guardianship the children. During times like this, way the usual parenting schedule is suspended so that each parentold law did and can't be used to spell out guardians's holiday visits are uninterruptedrights and obligations.

For working parentsThe court can make orders about which guardian exercises parental responsibilities, summer holidays so that one parent may require cooperation (have parental responsibilities over medical decisions, and the other over educational decisions. If the agreement or court order does not) regarding spell out who exercises which parental responsibility, then it is presumed that the scheduling guardians share all of camps the parental responsibilities and day campsthe guardians must therefore cooperate and make their decisions jointly. Ideally, parents If no agreement can arrange their holidays around be reached by the children's availability. Howeverguardians, not every parent has that flexibility. What parents need an application may be made to keep in mind are court under section 40 of the memories that they are creating for their children. Will their children remember summer holidays as being a tug-of-war between parents''Family Law Act'', and the court can make those decisions instead or a time of relaxation and fun?determine who can make the decision.

====Children's refusal to visit==Contact==

Children can be resistant to change and transitions can be difficult for themThe time a person who is not a guardian has with a child is called ''contact''. Sometimes children will Where a child's parent is not want to leave one parent and this could be that child's guardian, the result of many things, not necessarily a real desire not to see time that the other parentspends with the child will be considered contact time. Separation anxiety, misplaced loyaltyThe ''[[Family Law Act]]'' doesn't say much about contact, or simply a reaction except to all the changes a child may be facing say that anyone can be common reasons apply for resistance to visitsit, including parents and grandparents.This is the definition of contact from section 1 of the Act:

The <blockquote><tt>''[[Family Law Act]]'contact with a child''' or ''' confirms that when determining what parenting plan is in contact with the child''' means contact between a child and a child’s best interestsperson, other than the court and child's guardian, the parties must consider the child’s “...view, unless it would be inappropriate to consider them” (section 37(2)(b)).terms of which are set out in an agreement or order</tt></blockquote>

There is no age provided in A schedule of contact can be set by agreement between the person seeking contact with a child and the child's guardians under section 58 of the ''[[Family Law Act]]'' as to when , or a child’s views are to determine their own parenting schedule. While people typically think the age of 12 is somehow contact can be fixed by a determining age court order made under section 59. Agreements for when children can make their own decisions on their own parenting schedule, the language contact are only good if they are signed by all of the ''[[Family Law Act]]'' does not specify any particular age when a child's views determine guardians who have the parenting arrangementsparental responsibility of determining who can have contact with the child.

Generally, children should not be responsible for making their own parenting arrangements or be involved in negotiating that issue between their parents. If ==Incapacity and death of a child is saying that they do not want to see the other parent, then that is a factor the parents need to consider. A child’s voice must be heard; however, it is important to make the distinction between a child having a “voice” compared to a child making a “choice”. guardian==

A child’s interests are not necessarily served by limiting contact with one parent when When a guardian anticipates being unable to care for a child requests , either temporarily or permanently, the guardian may appoint a person to act in their place. No matter the age or health of a guardian, it. It is important always a good idea for a guardian to give some thought to know why a the question of who would look after the child is taking a resistant position in the event of the guardian's unexpected death and to address any underlying factors that may be affecting the child’s choice record those arrangements in a Will or in one of the matterforms described below.

====ParentsUnder section 43(2) of the ' refusal '[[Family Law Act]]'', a guardian who is temporarily unable to exercise certain parental responsibilities may authorize someone to visit====exercise those responsibilities on their behalf. Such authorizations must be made in writing, and should say exactly what it is that the authorized person can do.

Children need stability and consistency in their lives. It is disruptive to both them and the other parent when The parental responsibilities that someone can exercise under a parent misses a scheduled visit, cancels at the last minute, or just fails to show up at all. This is an absolute no-no. Both parents need to be able to rely on a fixed parenting schedule; this benefits the child by giving them a reliable routine, and it benefits both parents by allowing them to plan their life apart from the child. Some flexibility from both parents is a wonderful thing, but a situation where one parent is constantly backing out, cancelling, or changing dates is not good for anyone.written authorization are:

Under section 63 *making day-to-day decisions affecting the child and having day-to-day care, control, and supervision of the child,*making decisions respecting with whom the child will live and associate,*making decisions respecting the child''[[Family Law Act]]''s education and participation in extracurricular activities,*giving, refusing, if a parent routinely fails or withdrawing consent to exercise parenting time or contactmedical, dental, then and other health-related treatments for the child,*applying for a passport, licence, permit, benefit, privilege or other parent can apply to court to be reimbursed thing for the costs associated with child,*giving, refusing, or withdrawing consent for the failure child, if consent is required,*receiving and responding to exercise the scheduled time. In an application brought under this section, a Court may also order any notice that a parent or both parents guardian is entitled or required by law to participate in family dispute resolutionreceive, have one or both parents *requesting and/receiving from third-parties health, education, or their other information about the child attend counseling or specified services or programs, or involve a supervisor for transfers of a child. Addressing missed visits is an option that was not previously available and*exercising any other responsibilities reasonably necessary to parents under nurture the old legislationchild's development.

The Appointments are made by Form 2, a form set out in the [http://www.clicklaw.bccanlii.ca/resourcet/1638 Parenting After Separation program8rdx Family Law Act Regulation] is run by . The guardian must sign the provincial Ministry of Justice. It is form in the mandatory program required presence of parents by certain Provincial (Family) Courtstwo witnesses, but neither of whom is open to everyonethe guardian being appointed. A list of The form must state the agencies conditions that provide this service is available from have to be met for the Family Justice division through [http://wwwappointment to take effect, such as a doctor's certificate of incapacity.clicklaw.bc.ca/resource/2638 Clicklaw]. You can download A guardian cannot appoint a guardian to act with any more parental responsibilities than those they had at the time of the [http://clicklaw.bc.ca/resource/2636 Parenting After Separation Handbook] online, in English, Chinese (simplified), Punjabi, and Frenchappointment.

The Parenting After Separation program is offered in Cantonese and Mandarin in SurreyFor the appointment to be effective, Richmond, and Vancouver; call 604-684-1628. The program is also offered in Punjabi and Hindi in those areas; call 604-597-0205a person appointed as a standby guardian must accept the appointment.

Simon Fraser University offers [http://www.informationchildren.com/ Information Children], A person who is appointed as a fairly broad and extremely useful non-profit program that deals with parenting issues and includes mediation services. This program offers parenting workshops in New Westminster and Burnabystandby guardian does not have to apply for appointment under section 51 of the act, and has a handy parenting helpline. Contact Information Children through their [http://www.informationchildrencontinues to serve as the guardian of the child after the death of the appointing guardian.com/ website] or at:

The provincial Under section 53 of the ''[https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/justice/about-bcs-justice-system/jac Justice Access Centres[Family Law Act]] may be able '', a guardian can appoint someone to direct you to other helpful parenting resources, and are located across the provincebecome guardian when they die. Contact them through [http://clicklaw.bc.ca/helpmap/service/1019 Clicklaw's HelpMap] or at:

===Recommended reading A person appointed as a testamentary guardian must accept the appointment for parents===the appointment to be effective.The federal Department of Justice has a number of high<!-quality resources in the [http://canada.justice.gc.ca/eng/fl-df/index.html family law section of its website] that you may find helpful. You'll find publications and research papers about parenting after separation and on other topics important to children's well-being after their parents separate. These papers are of a uniformly high quality and are well worth the read. HIDDEN==Further Reading in this Chapter==

The federal government website has a section on [http://canada.justice.gc.ca/eng/fl-df/parent/plan.html creating parenting plans] that links to three useful resources: *[http<span style="color://canada.justice.gc.ca/eng/fl-df/parent/mp-fdp/index.html Making Parenting Plans], *[http://canada.justice.gc.ca/eng/fl-df/parent/ppc-lvppp/index.html Parenting Plan Checklist], and *[http://canada.justice.gc.ca/eng/fl-df/parent/ppt-ecppp/index.html Parenting Plan Tool]. The federal Department red;">bulleted list of Justice's website also has information on [http://canada.justice.gc.ca/eng/fl-df/parent/kh-ae.html helping your kids cope]. There are lots of good books about parenting after separation available at your local bookstore, which include the following (my favourites are other pages in bold): *''The Good Divorce: Keeping your family together when your marriage comes apart''this chapter, by D. Ahrons *''Helping your Child through your Divorce'', by F. Bienenfeld *'''''The Truth about Children and Divorce''''', by R.E. Emery *''Healing Hearts: Helping Children and Adults Recover from Divorce'', by E. Hickey and E. Dalton *'''''Helping your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way''''', by M.G. Neuman *''Mom's House, Dad's House: Making Two Homes for Your Child'', by I. Ricci *''Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising your Child with an Uncooperative Ex'', by J.A. Ross *''Helping Children Cope with Divorce'', by A. Teyber ===Recommended reading for children=== The books that follow are drawn from the suggestions of the Vancouver law firm Henderson Heinrichs and are reproduced with permission. *''At Daddy’s on Saturdays'', by L. Walvoord and J. Friedman; for ages 5+ *''Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families'', by L. Krasny Brown and M. Brown; for ages 4+ *''Divorce is a Grown Up Problem'', by J. Sinberg; for ages 4+ *''Let’s Talk About It: Divorce'', by F. Rogers; for ages 5+ *''On Divorce'' by S. Bennett Stein and E. Stone; for ages 3+ *''What’s Going to Happen to Me?'', by E. Leshan; for ages 9+ *''Why Are We Getting a Divorce?'', by P. Mayle and A. Robins; for ages 6+ The website [http:linked<//www.familieschange.ca www.familieschange.ca] is designed to help children understand and cope with the issues that arise when their parents separate or divorce. The website presents differently for younger children versus teens; both versions are very well put together.span> The federal Department of Justice has published a book for 9- to 12END HIDDEN-year-olds called ''[http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/pi/fcy-fea/lib-bib/pub/cal/2013/index.html What Happens Next?]'', available online and in print. The print version is a lot friendlier and what I'd suggest giving to a child.>

 * [https://www.clicklaw.bcjusticeeducation.ca/question/commonquestion/1010 Clicklaw Common Question "I’m looking for information about the pas Justice Education Society: Parenting After Separation program"]* [https://www.clicklaw.bc.ca/resource/1527 Justice Education Society's handbook ''Parenting After Separation: 1246 Dial-A Handbook for Parents''-Law Script "Custody and access, guardianship, parenting arrangements and contact"]* [https://www.clicklaw.bc.ca/resource/2637 Justice Education 2639 Legal Services Society's brochure "Parenting After Separationfact sheet "]* [https://www.clicklaw.bc.ca/resource/1204 BC Ministry of Attorney General report ''How to Become A Summary of Evaluation Feedback from Participants in Parenting After Separation SessionsChild'' (2003)s Guardian"]

* [https://www.clicklaw.bc.ca/resource/4139 Justice Education Society's website "Parent Guide to Separation and Divorce"]* [https://www.clicklaw.bc.ca/resource/4655 Legal Services Society's Family Law website's information page "Parenting & guardianship"]**See "Parenting After Separation classes" * [http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/ Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines]* [https://adacounty.id.gov/judicial-court/magistrate-court/family-court-services/parenting-plans/ Ada CountyGuardianship, Idaho State Court's "Sample Parenting Plans"]* [http://parenting.familieschange.ca Justice Education Society's online course "Parenting After Separation"]* [http://www.informationchildren.com/ Information Children] (a non-profit supporting parents with family life challenges)* [https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/fl-df/parent/mp-fdp/index.html Department of Justice's guide ''Making plans: A guide to parenting arrangements after separation or divorce'']* [https://clicklaw.bc.ca/resource/1588 Justice Education Society time and BC Ministry of Attorney General's website parental responsibilities"Families Change"]* [http://hearthechild.ca Hear the Child Society]

{{REVIEWED | reviewer = [[Mary Mouat|Mary Mouat, QC]] and [[Samantha Rapoport]] , April 15, 2019}}