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→Children and parenting apart
As we discussed in the section "[[Separating Emotionally]]," separation stirs up a turbulent stew of powerful emotions that can take a surprisingly long time to work through, and often wind up clouding parents' judgment. You can find yourself doing things and saying things you never thought you would, or doing things you promised you'd never do again. In the midst of all of this, you may also find yourself having to resolve critical legal issues that will have a profound effect on your future and the futures of your children.
When people have children, they have to accept that they'll remain a part of each other's lives until unless their children predecease them, whether they like it or not. They may no longer be partners, but they will always be parents. Parental relationships don't end along with romantic relationships. If you've had children together, you're stuck with each other.
It's impossible to emphasize enough how important it is to always put the children first. Having said that, putting the children's needs and interests ahead of your own can be extremely challenging when you're also trying to cope with the intense emotions involved in separation. It can be tremendously difficult to refrain from badmouthing your former partner to the children, never mind put energy into supporting their relationships with your former partner. However, if you care about your children, you don't really have a choice.