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Separating Emotionally

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→‎Introduction

The turbulent stew of emotions involved in separation are normal. Everyone experiences these emotions, although we each process them in our own way. From a lawyer's perspective, the key problems that need to be sorted out in the midst of these distorted and confused feelings include:

#*settling the legal issues that crop up at the end of a relationship, about things like parenting, paying support and dividing property;,#*getting sensible, reasonable and rational instructions from the client;,#*separating anger from the negotiation or mediation process;,#*separating anger from the arbitration or litigation process; , and,#*making sure that as little conflict as possible spills onto the children.

The vast majority of people can resolve their issues through negotiation or mediation, no matter how angry they are with one another. When people simply cannot separate the emotional baggage of separation from the resolution of the legal issues that come at the end of their relationship, arbitration or litigation may be inevitable.

Litigation is sometimes necessary, even when people are capable of engaging in a less antagonistic dispute resolution process, including when:

#*someone threatens to flee with a child;,#*there's a history of family violence, or where family violence seems imminent; , and,#*someone is threatening to do something rash with family property.

However, when litigation is provoked by the emotions arising from the end of the relationship and isn't necessary to resolve an urgent issue, you can run into some serious and expensive problems you may not expect.:

*One or both people may adopt entrenched and unreasonable positions about things like parenting after separation or support. It's never good when people adopt positions out of spite or vindictiveness.

Alise Nelson

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Separating Emotionally

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