In circumstances like these, it can be easy to forget how important it is that the children maintain a positive, loving relationship with each of their parents. It's also easy for each parent's view of the other to become clouded by hatred, malice and spite, to the point where nothing the other parent can do is ever right.      XXXX Attitudes like these are almost impossible to shield from children. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, the children are inevitably exposed to these negative views which, without intervention, can come to colour the children's own views of the other parent. ===Children's experiences of separation=== It is important to remember that while one parent's thoughtless comments about the other parent can have an impact on how a child sees the other parent, so too will the child's own experience of the separation. This can include: *blaming the parent who left for breaking up the family,*seeing a parent as injured by the actions of the other parent,*sympathizing with an emotionally upset parent, and/or*missing and feeling sad for the parent that they see less often. These feelings may have nothing at all to do with any blameworthy conduct on the part of either parent, but they can cause a child to feel closer to one parent than the other. Further, there are a number of normal reasons why a child might feel closer to one parent, even in families that haven't separated, such as: *similarities in the temperament of the child and one of the parents,*the parent's gender,*interests the child shares with a parent, and/or*how the parent handles discipline. There are, of course, ways that parents can behave, intentionally and unintentionally, that will encourage a child to drift towards one parent and away from the other that are blameworthy. Remember, however, that there are normal reasons why a child's experience of divorce may align with one parent over the other that have nothing to do with a parent's conduct.