While it's true that separation has an important impact on children of all ages, the good news is that parents can mitigate the likelihood of negative outcomes, like the children falling behind and school and the other things just mentioned. In fact, handling a separation well can help children adjust to the change and even help them develop resiliency. It's important to know that parents' behaviour during their separation can have a huge impact on the children's relationships with each of them, and on the children's expectations for their own future relationships in terms of trust, intimacy and closeness. As a result, it's important to minimize conflict and choose dispute resolution processes — and lawyers! — that promote cooperation and discourage conflict.  It's also important for parents to recognize when they need help. It often takes longer than people think to adjust to separation, and it's hard for children to adjust to the separation when their parents haven't adjusted themselves. A prominent lower mainland counsellor describes separation and divorce as awound that must be treated properly in order to heal, and will eventually infect other areas of our lives if it's allowed to fester. Proper treatment can help parents cope better with their separation, which in turn will help the children cope better with their separation. A lot of issues about separation and separating well are discussed in the [[Separating_Emotionally | Separating Emotionally]] and [[Behaviour,_Boundaries_and_Privacy_after_Separation | Behaviour, Boundaries and Privacy after Separation]] sections of the [[Separating_and_Getting_Divorced | Separating and Getting Divorced]] chapter. In the meantime, know that mental health professionals are available who specialize in helping people work through the emotional turmoil that follows the end of a long-term relationship. Look for professionals with the designations ''Registered Clinical Counsellor'' (RCC), ''Certified Canadian Counsellor'' (CCC), ''Registered Psychologist'' (RPsych) or ''Registered Social Worker'' (RSW).  *The website [http://www.counsellingbc.com/ counsellingbc.com] offers a list of subscribing counsellors by area of practice.*The [http://bc-counsellors.org/ BC Association of Clinical Counsellors] also maintains a referral list of its members.*The [https://bcamft.bc.ca/ BC Association for Marriage and Family Therapy] has a referral list and helpful information about how to choose a counsellor.*The website [http://findasocialworker.ca/BC/en/default.asp findasocialworker.ca], from the BC Association of Social Workers, has a tool to find a social worker.