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==Pick the right moment==
You can't force your ex to start a collaborative settlement process with you, you can only do it with his or her agreement; your . Your ex isn't likely to agree to try a collaborative approach to settlement if he or she is still pissed off about a recent <span class="noglossary">argument</span> or is still resentful about the end of the relationship.
When you've got the right moment, suggesting a collaborative settlement process can be as simple as calling your ex up and inviting him or her out for a cup of coffee at the local Tim Hortons:
*you'll be done in a fraction of the time that you would have spent in court.
Going to trial <span class="noglossary">will</span> cost a minimum of $15,000 in lawyer's fees for a two- or three-day trial. Most family law trials are one or two weeks long, and this figure ignores the <span class="noglossary">costs</span> of all the other things that have to happen before you walk into to the courtroom on day one!
If this doesn't get your ex to agree to try a collaborative approach, tell him or her to ask separated friends, family members and co-workers how much it cost for their court proceedings and how long it took to go from start to finish.
Now that your ex has agreed to a collaborative settlement process, you each need to hire a lawyer trained in collaborative practices and get the process underway.
Lawyers who work in a collaborative practice model <span class="noglossary">will</span> say as much in their advertising. You can also do an Internet internet search for "collaborative lawyer bc" which that <span class="noglossary">will</span> give you a list of collaborative lawyers and, even better, collaborative practice groups in your neighbourhood. Collaborative practice groups <span class="noglossary">will</span> have lists of their members who are lawyers, mental health professionals and financial specialists, and the odds are pretty good that if you find a collaborative lawyer who you think you'll work well with, the lawyer <span class="noglossary">will</span> be able to recommend a handful of other lawyers from the same practice group for your ex.
Before you hire your lawyer, first ask around. Have any of your friends used a collaborative lawyer, and what did they think of him or her? If that doesn't work, call a family law lawyer. Most family law lawyers, even family law lawyers who aren't trained in collaborative processes, <span class="noglossary">will</span> be able to recommend you to someone they think highly of.
==For more information==
You can find out more about collaborative processes in the chapter [[Resolving Family Law Problems out of Court]].