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→The grieving process
Many counsellors liken the process of emotionally separating from a long-term relationship to the grieving process that happens when a loved one dies. In general, this process can be expected to take one to two years to complete. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, in her book ''[http://www.worldcat.org/title/on-death-and-dying/oclc/4238 On Death and Dying]'', describes a five-stage model of grief, and how grief affects our ability to make decisions in each stage.
*'''Shock and Denialdenial:''' "This isn't happening to me!" An initial paralysis at hearing the bad news; trying to avoid the inevitable. People usually avoid making decisions or taking action at this point.
*'''Anger:''' "Why is this happening to me?" A frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion. Making decisions at this point is difficult because all one's energy gets put into the emotion rather than problem-solving, and the other partner is usually vilified.
*'''Dialogue and Bargainingbargaining:''' "I promise I'll be a better person if..." Seeking in vain for a way out; seeking solutions that might offer a solution. People generally become more willing to explore alternatives.*'''Depression and Detachmentdetachment:''' "I just don't care anymore." A final realization of the inevitable. It is hard to make reasonable decisions at this stage because of the sense of resignation.
*'''Acceptance:''' "I'm ready for whatever comes." Finally finding the way forward. Decisions are much easier to make because people have found new purpose, having begun to accept the loss.