The applicant starts a proceeding by filing an ''Application to Obtain an Order'' (Form 1 of the Provincial Court Family Forms) in court, and then serving it on each person named as a respondent. The Application to Obtain an Order must be ''personally served'' on the respondent by an adult other than the applicant — you can't do it yourself. The respondent has 30 days to answer the claim by filing a ''Reply'' (Form 3) in court; the court clerk will send a copy of the Reply to the applicant. The Reply can also be used to make a ''counterclaim'', the respondent's own claim against the applicant. A respondent who does not file a Reply is not entitled to notice of further hearings in the case!

At the parties' first appearance before a judge, the judge may order the parties to attend a ''family case conference''. A family case conference is a private meeting between the parties, their lawyers — if they have lawyers — and a judge, to talk about the legal issues and see whether any of them can be settled. In general, a judge will not make orders at a family case conference except with the parties' agreement. Family case conferences can be very helpful as they provide a great opportunity to talk about the legal issues and explore potential areas of compromise. There's more information about family case conferences in the chapter [[Resolving_Family_Law_Problems_in_Court|Resolving Problems in Court]] in the section on [[Case Conferences in a Family Law Matter|Case Conferences]].