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→When children resist spending time with a parent
Of course, any resistance to seeing one parent is, or at least should be, difficult for both parents. For the parent sending the child to the other parent, it can be heart-wrenching to force the child out the door and into the car against their complaints. For the parent receiving the child, it can be devastating to hear — from the other parent or the child — that the parenting time or contact is unwelcome and unwanted, and experience the profound sense of rejection, grief and loss that results.
It's important to know that each parent has a duty to nurture and encourage the children's relationships with the other parent. In the context of parenting time and contactafter separation, this means encouraging helping the child to look forward to seeing the other parent. In a more general context, this means actively fostering the child's relationship with the other parent and refraining from making negative remarks about the other parent.
In high-conflict situations, even parents who understand this basic duty can unconsciously express their feelings about the other parent to the child. Children aren't stupid; they'll know that something's not right and they'll be painfully aware of the feelings each parent has toward the other. Even young children will pick up on non-verbal clues to a parent's feelings. This sort of unintentional communication includes: